i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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