If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
