Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
