All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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