He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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