Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
