I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
