I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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