There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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