Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
