atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
