i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
