she was so not down for the gang bang
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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