apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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