And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
