i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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