It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
