if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
