Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize