her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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