I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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