I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
