I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
