Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
