Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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