Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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