We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
