Non-Jews are for practice
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
