No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize