Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
