I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
