Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
