google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
