Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
