Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
