Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
