I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
