I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
