Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
did you just send me my own nude
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
