also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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