dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
