what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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