I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize