i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
