so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
