i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
