u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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