yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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