I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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