i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
