found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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