I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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