Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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