He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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