I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
