At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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